A Necessary Loss

The loss of the Book of Lehi, the infamous 116 pages, had always been a tragedy in my mind. Would history have been different if we could have read them? What new mysteries (or old ones) do they contain? Who has them today? The curious mind is inevitably drawn towards the 116 pages and the "lost" knowledge that we could have had. However, as I was studying about the 116 pages and how they were lost by Joseph Smith and Martin Harris, I realize that it's probable, in fact, it was necessary that those pages be lost to cause a change of heart or growth in Joseph’s understanding of his prophetic mission.
There is a similarity between Joseph’s grueling experience with the lost pages and the conversion stories of many of the prophets in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I think immediately of Saul of Tarsus in the New Testament, or Alma the Younger, a character from the Book of Mormon trying to destroy the church. Both had life-changing experiences when an angel or the Lord himself appeared and warned them to change their lives or perish. While Joseph had not sunk to the depths of Saul or Alma the Younger, he had made a mistake in releasing the pages despite repeated warnings from the Lord not to do so.
Alma and Saul could only be turned from their ways by a severe rebuking from the Lord. Although their experiences were glorious, they were frightening, and both were smitten down. However, after those horrible experiences, they were both healed by the Spirit and went on to build the Kingdom in great ways. In a similar way, Joseph had to experience a severe chastening, which brought him to the depths of sorrow and humility. It is only when he had been brought low that the Lord could raise him even more.
As I was studying about this episode in Joseph’s life, my mind kept going back to my mission in El Salvador, and I realized that most missionaries have that same experience on the mission. Many never learn the language or teach with the Spirit because they want to earn it themselves. Only the missionaries who allowed the Lord to bring them down were brought above their trials. I had learned about this time in Joseph’s life many times before, but never before had it brought a personal meaning to me. I saw it as curious that a prophet would be so stupid to ignore the warnings of the Lord, but then I realized that I do the exact same things. We all do. We refuse to be humble, and so the Lord must humble us through trial, until we allow him to lift us up. While studying the life of Joseph Smith, I learned that it is only when I have been brought low that the Lord can raise me to unforeseen heights. In the end, it doesn’t matter what was on the lost pages as much as what we have learned about ourselves from Joseph’s experience of repentance and humility.